Peanut Butter Cookies

Trip to the Cemetery

Several weeks ago I went to the cemetery with a friend to visit their husband's grave. I volunteered to go with her months ago and it was certainly good to be there with her as she remembered and mourned for her husband. It was also interesting to see a Russian cemetery and compare it to ones in the US. Unfortunately, I do not have any pictures to show you – one, I wasn't sure if that was very reverent to be taking a bunch of pictures of other people's graves; and two, my batteries where dead anyway. But I will share a few interesting things that stood out to me about my "introduction" to the Russian Cemetery.

The newer graves (less than a year old) where very easy to recognize as they were COVERED and pilled high (in some cases over 4 feet high) with fake flours, giant wreaths (that looked like fake Christmas trees), flags and ribbons. Traditionally, the family waits a year before having the head stone placed.

Several (of not the majority) of the graves had a small bench and little table next to them. My friend explained to me that this was so that loved ones could come and eat and drink with them.

The head stones varied in style and extravagance. I noticed many with the Russian Orthodox cross on them and others with stars. I thought the star was just a decorative symbol but when I noticed more and more I thought perhaps it symbolized a soldier or something to do with the military. I asked my friend about the star and she said that it indicated that they were atheist but the cross symbolized that they were believers (in God). I couldn't help but sadly wonder how many people wished they could come back from the grave and scrape that star of their head stone.

My friend told me before arriving to the cemetery that she would take me past the special graves designated for the academics (for those who are like me and don't know what that means – it is a very highly educated person (president of a university, professor/doctor, scientist) that a board of already appointed "academics" esteems worthy enough in knowledge, education and experience to be named an "academic"). The name of the suburb in which I live means "academic town" – so as you can imagine there are a lot of academics here. My friend talks about "our academics" SO proudly and with so much respect it should have been no wonder how impressive their graves would be. I wish I had a picture to show you of their "graves" – many had sculptures or busts of the academic, with a marble pad covering the entire square (about 10 times bigger than the normal plots) that was marked off by a fancy chain fence. Their wives where berried alongside them with a more simple head stone (usually white). After having been to Arlington Cemetery, I'd say that Kennedy's grave (even though it has an eternal flame) can't hold a candle to those of the Russian academics. (It is almost midnight here, so forgive me if that is on the corny side.)

These extravagant graves for the highly educated go to show just how important knowledge and education are to the Russian people. Science is hailed. That same friend that went with me to the cemetery often backs up "strange" (to me anyway) theories by simply saying "Well, the scientists said it, so we know it's true." During one discussion in particular (involving the energy of plants and how they receive positive or negative energy from people near them who are "givers" or "takers" thus effecting their growth) it came to my mind that we try to prove and make sense of everything. Some think everything happens for a reason that reason must be scientifically explainable. I might suggest that while certainly everything happens for a reason, perhaps it's because there is some One causing it and not some thing…

I don't know when I'll go to the cemetery again – but I hope I will be able to be there for my friend when she goes again.

For anyone who will happen to visit my grave (wherever and whenever it will be), please don't treat some bones in the ground as if they're me. After I'm dead, I'll be too busy living how I was meant to live to just lie around :)